SatireSatire & ComedySports

Essendon decide Bomber Thompson was onto something and will move into the frozen water business

Following the Bombers fourth loss in a row to Carlton on Sunday, they have decided the whole footy thing just isn’t their cup of tea. “The drug scandal was a sign that we blatantly missed, we should have cut our losses and just moved into the business,” Bombers CEO Xavier Campbell said. “It was a great branding opportunity for us,” Mr Campbell said. Though winter is on Victoria’s doorstep, the Bombers are confident they can fill a niche in the growing market. Essendon are currently calling for ideas as to what they should call their product. The current front runners
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The Set List, Edition 2: The Encore Edition 

And now, for the piece you’ve been awaiting with bated breath: the extended second edition of The Set List. While I slowly replace my social life with gigs, unironically substitute all normal conversations for “Dude, have you heard this new song? It’s such a tuuuuuuuuuune” and spend all my spare change on Spotify, I’m proud to share my latest symphonic discoveries with you. With my extensive* music knowledge, the completely accurate and not-at-all-bullshit descriptions below will likely make you at least the second-coolest member of your friendship group. (If, like me, your only friend is your dog, then you were
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The Set List, Edition 1

Genre: Pop If you love… Taylor Swift, circa 2008 You’ll like… Gretta Ray The 19-year-old singer-songwriter continues to rise from strength to strength. Her insightful lyrics exhort a maturity beyond her teenage years, while the substantial nature of her guitar-pop style is a testament to her wealth of experience. One to keep an eye on in 2018, her starry-eyed ballads will win you over if you’ve been pining about the death of the ‘old Taylor’. In a word: Lyrical Favourite song: Drive   Genre: Electronica If you love… Flume You’ll like… Ninajirachi ‘Dance music made in an ice cave’? 18-year-old
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