Following its release in 2013, it would seem that Frozen has become an unstoppable Zeitgeist, as one of the most popular Disney movies since the Disney Princess renaissance of the late 80s – early 90s. Seriously, I’ve only seen the film once, but I’m pretty sure I know every single lyric from its hit song ‘Let it Go’ because it just seems to be everywhere.
A brief YouTube search of ‘Let it Go parody’ gleans over 7 pages worth of responses, a testament to the sheer impact that Frozen has made on our pop-cultural landscape. I’m one for a good parody here and there, but generally I’ll watch it once, maybe snicker a bit, and then forget that it ever happened. However there has been one video that has stuck with me.
Enter Emily Mandelbaum, a young girl who likes to post videos of herself singing (I use the phrase “singing” loosely here) on her parents YouTube account. A quick flick through her videos are nothing special, until I reach a video curiously entitled “Let Me Poop”.
As someone who has an admittedly temperamental colon, I can’t get passed the raw emotion, power and truth of these lyrics. How is it that an 8 year old can understand and articulate the trauma of poop gone wrong in 3 minutes and 40 seconds, to the catchy tune of our beloved frozen?
Haven’t we all had those moments when you’re sitting on the toot and realise too late that there’s no toilet paper. There’s nothing quite like the awkward squatted dash to find some after you’ve already done the deed. And I don’t know about you, but I tend to leave the door open when I don’t think anyone is home. It’s definitely led to some awkward housemate times.
Emily had me until around 1:36, when the second verse hit. “It’s funny this bowl’s too small, with all the poop I have/ I don’t think it will hold it all; it’s already full”. I’m a little bit concerned about the sheer amount of dung she has inside her, I’m not entirely sure if she’s healthy? Maybe it’s time to get a colonic irrigation or something (incidentally, if she was an MSA member she’d get 20% off, what a bargain!).
There’s no amount of sweet dance break goodness that can prepare my body for 2:38. “My poop overfills from the bowl onto the ground/My socks are fully soaked in doo doo all around!” Emily, buddy, I was right there with you until this. I’ve had my fair share of colonic explosions (being gluten, lactose and fructose intolerant has been a journey of self- discovery), but I have never, ever not only filled an entire bowl, but actually overflowed it. And I’m significantly larger than you are. What on earth is going on with your guts? It’s probably time to go see a Gastrointestinal specialist.
2: 54 “And one thought: How could it smell just like that?/It’s so bad! I think I killed my cat!” Look, given the amount of passion she’s singing with, and the untimely death of her cat, I think she may also be as confused about the state of her poop trail as I am.
Ultimately, “Let Me Poop” is a classic of our times. It makes us self-reflect, and truly appreciate our own colons. It says more about the state of taking a crap then children’s classic “The Story of the Little Mole Who Knew it Was None of His Business” (a tale about a mole running around with a literal dump on his head). With Emily, I went on a wild emotional roller coaster, reminiscing about the ups and downs of my toilet adventures, and ultimately, I am grateful for my gastrointestinal lot in life.
I mean, at least my shit hasn’t killed small animals.
9/10 Toilet Rolls.