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The Present Vs The Future

I  look at you, sitting at the foot of my bed, and think 

mine & mine & mine 

you lean back, head hitting pastel pillows, as I light a match and let the smell of vanilla candles fill the room 

and then I begin to shuffle, thoughts of you on my mind 

I shuffle and break and flip and turn the cards, until finally, they settle, and then I wait for you to settle and lay three cards on your stomach 

 

three of swords 

two of pentacles 

and king of wands 

 

you turn your head to the side, reaching over and ghosting your fingertips over my cheek, as if to ask, “and? so what?” and the candles light up the half-formed smile on your face 

 

I look at the cards, their intricate designs, and then back at you, dark eyes, dark curls, sharp jaw 

 

and then I picture you with someone else and think 

no & no & no 

 

and even though the cards have shown that the only things that lie ahead are sadness and heartbreak, I tuck them back into the deck and kiss your fingertips and ask you what you’d like for dinner 

 

Daniela Koulikov

The author Daniela Koulikov

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