This article was originally published in Lot’s Wife Edition 6: Parody
To clarify, I am defending a single Arts degree. Science/Arts, Arts/Law, and so on are not included; you have allies in another faculty, don’t be greedy.
Arts has a rather unpleasant reputation. We are the people who studied history, literature and English at school, and maybe another language or something like psychology to mix it up. We like to read and write about interesting matters regarding the human condition rather than dull paperwork (looking at you Law students), learn about historical matters that affect our current social position, and maybe debate whole-heartedly about politics (not me though, do not come to me to talk about politics unless you want a one-sided conversation).
Let’s be honest, you’re all jealous. You resent us for having copious electives and “interesting” subjects such as ‘how to write a pop tune’ whilst you have compulsory subjects like ‘marketing research methods’. You call our subjects pointless and unnecessary; we call it crucial for broadening knowledge and opening the mind. We don’t expect you to understand. We’ll be outside drinking our white chocolate macadamia nut frappaccinos contemplating the ‘moral psychology of evil’ or writing an essay on ‘satire, sex and sensibility in the eighteenth century’ while you’re researching ‘foundations of public health’.
As for Medicine and Law students: politely get your heads out of your asses. Now that you can hear me, your studies aren’t more important than ours! (Although we do appreciate the medical services of practitioners and possible legal services) Sure, your degrees may help you secure reasonable careers in the future, but our degree can also lead us to interesting career paths: we could become anthropologists, academics, producers or criminal intelligence investigators (so basically spies), to name a few.
On a serious note, what are we supposed to study at university if we have no interest in science, maths, health sciences or law, and have no particular talent in practical art or music? We are here to write infinite essays on the artistic structure of the greater world and the worlds in our minds. So, next time you want to talk about the futility of an Arts degree, instead bitch about geography. Geography sucks.