As a new episode to a new season unravels with the new year, we might all experience a little deja vu. Perhaps it was the unusually heavy glass of wine in your hand that nudged the domino effect of recollection; the echoes of pressuring chants from the previous New Year’s party begin to ring in your ears… Anything symbolic of the past can be triggering during this nostalgic, and maybe even melancholic, period as another year has come to an end. Some may reflect with negativity, so much time wasted, yet none really at all. The advantages of the impetuousness of youth are so often overlooked, so often looked at through the wrong lens. Were all those reckless ‘bad’ decisions really so bad and disruptive to one’s life after all? “What if they didn’t happen?”. “What if I had listened to the tiny voice in my head that advised me against it?”. “If only I had listened to my parents…” Before you drown in the whirlpool of regret of your own doing, let me try to pull you out with a few visual aids.
‘Characters in the puzzle of our own sit-com,
Fitting it with pieces of decisions and moments.
Every piece with its unique shape,
Why long for one that doesn’t even fit’
Each new year brings a period of reminiscence, like rewinding back on the timeline of a sit-com. Often trailing with the train of regret, gratitude and pride, as you see how far you have come along. With gratitude and pride often overlooked, we easily fall prey to regret and inadvertently enter the new year on a bitter note. Appreciation, the seeds of the fruits of success and happiness, is a difficult but worthy skill few hold. Every decision, good or bad, are unique shapes to the puzzle of our sit-com. Reckless decisions may disguise themselves as useless white pieces, easy to be regretful of; however, without them, there would be a hole in the puzzle. A missing piece would mean a missing scene, and the storyline no longer works. It is difficult to look within and recognize its purpose, but even more so to appreciate it for the advantages that trail after. Chandler and Monica’s relationship would not have existed without Monica’s rash decisions. A bird wouldn’t have learnt to fly without first falling. You would not have learnt about the dangers of exceeding your alcohol limits without that reckless decision. One cannot hope for the good without taking the bad. There is no advantage in wishing for a piece that would not even fit in the puzzle of your sit-com; there is no advantage in regretting a piece that is meant to fit.
‘In the midst of the lustrous, misty forest,
One can so easily lose their way.
A careless trip over a branch,
The necessary tip in the right direction.’
Reckless past decisions are so often taken at face value of undesirability and labelled as ‘mistakes’, but are essential parts to the compass of life in disguise. Without them, the compass would not function as it should, you would not get to your designated destination in life, and you may become stagnant or even lost in the forest of life. Recall the last time you felt lost in life, when you couldn’t make a decision or when you couldn’t find passion in any field of work. Now think about the journey you took that led you to who you are today; compare that to the current version of yourself. Maybe it was a mindless decision to choose science because you always scored well, but you later grew a love for the arts. It didn’t matter that you lost a few months or so being lost in the forest, because that ‘misstep’ bought you the necessary time to find the right path. So why does it matter that you made that reckless decision in your teens? Those reckless decisions benefitted us the same way, however, are masked with the shroud of ‘negativity’ for the immediate consequences that make them undesirable. It is important to remember that all good things take time. The fruit of its benefits is the strength it gives us overtime when we learn to overcome these ‘negative’ consequences. The seemingly useless white puzzle pieces have a place in the puzzle of your life for a reason, clear or not.
‘In art, the centrepiece of a work
May come from a wrong stroke of the brush.
Like such, decisions masked as mistakes
May be the weights to the blossoming of strength.’
Our teens are the prime period of impulsive and ‘bad’ choices; we are meant to make nonsensical, bad decisions that make us look foolish, like dirtbags. These ‘bad’ decisions build a safety net for greater future misfortunes, to catch us when we fall. As we progress in life, the weights get heavier as the responsibility and consequence of every mistake gets heavier. In our teens, we are to pick up these lighter weights to train with, to learn how to deal with outcomes of our ‘lighter’ mistakes of our reckless decisions. Imagine deciding on random one day that you wish to start training in the gym, it would be nearly impossible to start with the heavy weights, you may even struggle with the medium heavy weights. Similarly, with experience of the ‘lighter’ weights of our past mistakes, when handling the ‘heavier’ mistakes, instead of struggling to even lift the weights of these ‘heavier’ mistakes, we will be able to handle them with more ease and grace.
There are a variety of ways to view the bad and impulsive decisions, even through the optimistic lens, however the message here is that all things happen for a reason. You may not see it, or much less believe it at first, but on reflection during each new year, may you come to discover and realise the benefits it has brought you. May you be glad and appreciative that any events – good or bad – took place for you may not be the person you are today; for you may not have come closer to the person you strive to be. For you may not have even known who you are or what you want to be. All things happen when they should and having an optimistic take to life, should you believe in the concept I have brought up, will help you nonetheless to accept the past; to live in more peace, acceptance and appreciation, and anticipate for the future as you await more experiences to come your way – as every moment is valuable and precious, good or bad.
