Uptown Kids on Lowlife Budget

It’s the beginning of a new academic calendar in Melbourne, which means the annual scuttle for students living away from home to secure accommodation for the year is upon us. For those who will not be residing with parents or on-campus, moving out is rarely the idealistic adventure we first imagined it would be. The perfect abode is difficult to find and even harder to afford – especially on a student budget. It should be noted first that in Australia we are extremely fortunate not to have been drastically affected by the Global Financial Crisis. In fact just last month financial statisticians ranked Australia among the “best countries to be born (in) in 2013”, second only to Switzerland, based on the reported quality-of-life index and national wealth. On top of that, Melbourne maintains its grand title as the World’s Most Liveable City.

But you get what you pay for – and we are certainly paying for it. According to the Economist Intelligence Unit, Melbourne was ranked as the eighth most expensive city in the world in 2012. Accounting for food, clothing, rent, transport, utility bills and recreational costs, the survey places Melbourne’s cost of living higher than the likes of London, Rome, New York, Berlin, Hong Kong, Beijing, Shanghai and Rio de Janeiro.

Most universities publish a guide summarising the average ongoing costs associated with independent living.

According to Monash’s current report, a three-person rental agreement would see each person paying around $7800 in yearly rent, $3000 on travel, $4200 on groceries and bills, $3600 on meals, $1200 on university (including books, stationery etc.), $960 on clothing, and a further $4200 on entertainment and personal items. Together with the cost of establishing the house (bond, internet and utilities connections and furniture etc.), this brings Monash’s yearly estimate just short of a terrifying $28 000.

This figure doesn’t take into account the expected 33% increase in costs from water retailers by the end of this financial year – taking the annual cost up to around $1000 per household.
It also seems to underestimate the total annual energy bills for a medium-sized Melbourne property, which is reported to be around $2375.

It definitely doesn’t mention the exorbitant cost of parking at Monash for those who are already paying to own, run and maintain a vehicle, not to mention the 9% hike in Myki fares which we have been suffering since January.

We also won’t mention the fact that rental costs have risen by up to 12% in the last few years, and continue to slither sneakily higher.

As students who typically walk a complex line between hedonism and malnutrition, what does this mean for our lowly budgets?

It means we are forced to make compromises between the lives we imagined we’d be leading as fancy-free but totally-in-control students, and the lives we can afford.

Firstly, showing up to a rental inspection can be daunting when your competition is a series of yuppie couples and their impeccably dressed children. Complications can arise when convincing a real estate agent that you and your roomies-to-be can actually cough up enough moolah to pay rent on some kind of “regular” basis, especially when your only promotion this month was from dish-pig to kitchen-hand.

Consequently we often end up settling for a house a little further – or perhaps a little closer – to Clayton than we would really like, or one where the third bedroom is in fact the linen cupboard. Penthouse dreams become a rundown cubbyhouse existence.

Once we do have a household established and have become accustomed to fulfilling payment deadlines, we learn to budget the rest of our costs. Thankfully most energy and water providers allow a discount for concession cardholders or else when the bills roll in we would be, in simple terms, screwed. Domestic and personal items baring that ominous Homebrand label make their way into our homes, and our tastebuds adjust to a diet based on supermarket specials. That said, beer and wine are often mysteriously exempt to this rule.

We learn when water consumption fees are lowest and coordinate our late-night laundry session as such, and we learn to refine our melodramatic performance techniques at Centrelink in a bid to scrounge more money from the government.

Even so, it is necessary for most of us to commit x-number of hours per week to casual or part-time work in order to cover costs. It’s not like we were planning to spend that time, like, studying, or whatever.
Such is life.

Luckily we have our housemates to commiserate with to the point of celebration, every night of the week. After all, we do inhabit ‘the World’s Most Liveable City’.

Happy House Warming, Monash!

Image: Athenamama