Wot’s Life with Clippy the Microsoft Word Assistant

Q: “How can I get myself in a good routine for the semester so I don’t crash and burn and fail every unit under the sun?”


Answer: It looks like you’re trying to get your life on track. Would you like help?

Stop binge-watching entire shows on Netflix during exam period (Daredevil will still be there when exams are over!)

Actually attend all of the lectures and tutorials. Yes, every week.

Drown your sorrows with a bottle of vodka. May God have mercy on your soul.


Q: Hey Clippy, are you a Turnbull fan, or is Shorten more your type?


A: Don’t show me this question again.

Q: “Clippy, next to Internet Explorer, you may be the most hated computer program in existence. Seriously, you suck. How can we learn from your mistakes and improve on current technology?”


A: It looks like you’re trying to replace Clippy. Would you like help?`

Step 1: Study IT at university, then fall into a cycle of despair as you fail assignment after assignment because you didn’t take Clippy’s above advice.

Step 2: Realise that you will never replace Clippy. You are only temporary.  Clippy’s wisdom is forever.


Q: Dear Lot’s, I–


A: It looks like you’re trying to write a letter. Would you like help?


Write to a better magazine.

Text your mum back instead.

Fine, write your shitty letter by yourself. Clippy doesn’t give a shit.

Tags : clippymicrosoftwots life
Editorial Team

The author Editorial Team

Leave a Response