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Art By Madeleine Trudel

by Britt Munro

 

As a serious journalist who investigates the pressing issues of our time (please see my recent piece ‘Dogs vs Cats: The Ultimate Showdown’), when delving into the world of interviewing, I was shocked that so many celebs rudely ignored my calls. Rami Malek, if you’re reading this, I was particularly disappointed in you. After seeing Bohemian Rhapsody eight times over summer (I am NOT crazy!) I have practically funded your retirement. So, in no way a last resort (let’s be honest — it helps she can’t refuse), who better to interview for her take on the world than my faithful companion and BFFL – my dog Molly (again, I am NOT crazy!).

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B: What is your take on the state of the world right now Mol?

M: Britt, I think we have to put a disclaimer here. (FYI, my dog as my chief study buddy has a great grasp of legal lingo). You know as well as me that you are officially crazy. So, reader, please understand that my world view is shaped by a 23-year-old who — to survive week 11 —sang One Direction’s ‘What Makes You Beautiful’ at least 5 times at the top of her lungs. With that off my furry chest (unfortunately, my ears are yet to recover) I think that the world, despite what the news is saying, is a pretty nice place. I keep hearing things like Adani, ScoMo, Brexit —but on my walks, I see plenty of green grass, flowers and pretty autumn leaves. And do not get me started on all the smells! It’s a paradise! And I get to meet people! Some people are SO nice! They play with me, tell me I am SO cute and give me tummy tickles.

B: People, tell me more about people…

M: I LOVE PEOPLE! People are the best! Well, most people, since some people rudely ignore me despite my wagging tail begging them to play with me. But like you say Britt, they’re the crazy ones missing out on all the fun…

B: Side note readers People ignoring poor Mol may be due to fact I’m sometimes a crazed woman trying to pick up cute tradies with my dog on walks….

M: What was that Britt?

B: Nothing Mol! Continue

M: Speaking of missing out on fun, everyone, what is with all the phones on walkies? There is so much beautiful nature out there to experience that you’re missing! Or, if you’re walking with someone, you could be talking to them rather than bopping along to tunes or scrolling Facebook. And most importantly, you could trip on me, which is unforgivable.

Also, do not get me started on Trump… He looks like Garfield — which was your first warning, America. Never trust a cat or cat look-a-like.

And Australia: ScoMo, seriously? Animal Justice Party were robbed.

B: Any other beef with the world Mol?

M: BEEF! Where?

B: ISSUES! ISSUES, MOL!

M: DO NOT GET ME EXCITED LIKE THAT, BRITT. I wouldn’t say I have issues with the world, I think it’s more that I have some advice that I could offer to people.

I think that these days, people seem to be in a rush. They’re always on the go. I see people scurry past me on my walks, cars speeding along, horns tooting. I think that people forget to take time out. Time to just be. Time to be present. Time to look at the stars and the moon. Time to feel the rain on their skin rather than rushing for a brolly.

B: Gosh! When did you get so wise, Mol?!  I’ve trained you well!

M: Oh no, sister, this is Dog Wisdom 101. Which, may I add, I have to keep reminding you of every day as you complain about your assignments and think the world revolves around you. And no interrupting, thank you; this is my time to shine.

I want to make one more very important point. I think people need to try and remember every day what truly matters – loved ones. Family, friends and furry family. I get SO excited to see you every morning Britt, and, oh my goodness, I hate it when you leave because WHEN ARE YOU COMING BACK? WHY CANT I COME TOO? I MISS YOU ALREADY. COME BACK NOW.

It’s so easy to take each other for granted, but in this crazy world, things can change in an instant. So, play more, cuddle more and say “I love you” more.

B: You are literally a philosopher.

M: You’re right; my talents are being wasted on you. Call Mensa. Kidding! Love you! Now you said beef…

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Watch out, Andrew Denton, you have competition in the serious journalist stakes… You have my number, Rami.

This piece was published in print as part of Lot’s Wife Edition 4.

Art By Madeleine Trudel
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