Content Warning: Implied ableism, mildly disturbing imagery, existentialism, references to masking
“Crack!”
My face, it was smooth
And shiny and perfect
Not a piece out of place
Now these cracks
Are ruining my face
Fissures branch out
Cracks chip away
Peel off, fall away
In the mirror I peer
Between the cracks
What’s under here?
My friends worry
My family frets
I’m no longer perfect
“Don’t worry” they say
“Don’t be upset
The cracks will go away”
My face is falling
There’s something underneath
There’s something I can see
I can see outside
I can see through my face
Is this supposed to be?
Air flows in
Through the cracks
Flowing along the crevices
My face breathes
My eyes see
My skin no longer itches
My ‘face’ was a fake
As it falls off in flakes
I remember
How to relax
What I look like
Beneath the cracks
As layers peel
I begin to feel
Yes I know now
This is me
This is who I used to be
Your faces show
You’re unhappy
You fear me
“This isn’t you,
You’re falling to bits!
It’s okay! Stay still,
We can still fix this!”
Let me be! Let me breathe!
Through holes I see
The world anew
Is this what it means?
Can I be free?
Please! Oh please!
I’m stuck in between
The old and new
And what you see
Who I am to you
Isn’t who I am to me
Why can’t you see?
You pick the fragments
Off the ground
And ram them back
Seal up the cracks
You ‘fix’ the last piece
Tell me “leave it be”
My face is still cracked
Glue drying in the crevices
My heart builds resentment
I’ll never again be perfect
Once again, you call me
Your precious
So I stay between
Covered by the screen
Peering through the cracks
Peel it to let the underneath
Breathe, breathe
When you can’t see
