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Mia Deans

When he told me, we high-fived.
The air felt light as he opened. 

She echoed my thoughts back to me.
We weren’t the same,
but similar enough.
Finding comfort in each other’s uncertainty.
I watched her cry
and felt myself turn inside out. 

I asked if her best friend was also her girlfriend.
Yes.  

She slipped it into conversation.
I choked on the nonchalant-ness.
For her, it seemed as simple as telling the time. 

I told her I wasn’t sure of myself.
She let herself go for the first time,
took off her cloak
and blossomed. 

He never told me.
He didn’t need to.
The definition of loud and proud. 

He was gorgeous and radiant.
When he told me, 
it was like seeing him completely.
My cheeks swollen with pride. 

When I came out,
I drank so much that I could no longer keep it down.
I saw my reflection in the toilet bowl as the anguish came up.
It was not beautiful,
but it was honest.  

Art by Alina Neuberger.

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