Every time that I hang out with you and them
I feel so alienated
but I feel like an alien would fit in more than me
because they are inherently interesting and
I just feel like the most boring person alive
I can’t keep up with any of the jokes
while the three of you go back and forth, faster and faster and
I force myself to laugh
in grating harmony
I grapple with possible things to say but
none of them seem worthwhile
sometimes one of you says something I had thought of
and I resent myself for not having said it
instead of just sitting here like a lump
With a lump in my throat, so stuck in my head
reminding myself that in other circles
I am fun and funny and welcome
as far as I can tell
I don’t do this to anyone else
do I?
