This piece was first published in Edition 2, 2021.
I’ve been looking for a feeling
I lost her somewhere way up there
in the abyss
among all the lost balloons I can still
see if I close my eyes and ask for
something;
exhalations
or good faith
(or you)
somehow
light demands entry into this space you aren’t –
light carves into my hollows
fills out the caves you left behind
finds homes between the blurry lines
you were so good at drawing; I tried once
but my heart got in the way of my fingers
along with all the other things I never saw
coming and I know I said you never changed me
but do you believe in second chances
there was a time I tied you to a balloon
and thought I let you go
but the longer gravity takes
the more it feels like there is something still
holding on
there is something still
tethering me
or I am still
anchoring you
and it feels like everything
and nothing
at once
(the rain holds her breath)
so if you love me come quickly
if you ever loved me come quickly
. . .
I’ve been looking for a feeling
and I don’t know where I am
but I don’t think it’s very far
so keep the door open for me
(I’ll call you when I get there)
![Photo with yellow and red flowering bushes in the foreground, and trees and a blue sky in the background, with lens flare.](https://lotswife.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Myles-Blum-Flowers-e1633853081497-200x300.jpg)
Art by Myles Blum